it's not too early, ladies

Christmas has passed, which means it's basically spring break, which means it's basically summer... yeah. Let's talk swimsuits. Here's a few tips on which styles will best compliment your god given bod.

If you ain't curvy in the slightest

Where my 12-year-old-boy-bod-lookin' ladies at?? I am here for you and I understand the struggle. Try some suits with a dramatic high-cut leg and low-cut armpit. This look will make your legs look longer, hips look wider, and waist look smaller. You might even show a lil' squished side boob- an added bonus if you're in the itty bitty titty committee like me. This style is really a solid choice for anyone, but especially for those lacking that hourglass shape.

if you have a long torso or short legs

Ratios are killer, man. Give the illusion of a longer leg by choosing a high-cut bottom where the waist sits at the smallest part of your torso and the leg holes are super high-cut.How do you think all these 5-foot Instagram models be looking like they do?? It's all an illusion, baby. 

if you're thiccer than a snicker

Wanna showcase dat ass but snatch the waist? (meanwhile supporting the breasteses??) Go for a high waisted bikini short with a thick-strap top to match. That way, you'll be givin' the belly a lil spandex action, and tightening your hips and ass. Thicc, but solid. You feel? Thick-strapped tops are super in right now because not only are they cuh-yoot, they give the girls more support and a bit of a push-up as opposed to the sag of low quality string bikinis.

if you have no tatas

Get you one of those criss-cross tops that wrap around ya bod and tie in the back. If you tie it real tight it'll push your tiny tatas together and give 'em some newfound definition.  

if you're a living, walking pear

Is your lower-to-upper-body ratio like, way out of wack? Well congrats girl, damn!! #Blessed fo real. But I understand if you wanna be a lil' more proportional. Baby makin' hips and an infant ribcage? This means you get to wear hella decorative tops that all us broad shouldered bitches could never. Find something with a decorative sleeve, ruffles, or a high-cut neckline.